Zillion little pieces..

That frown

That slap

That pinch

That belt

That stick

That kick

That shouts

That hair pulling

That beatings

That behavior

That all had less

Impact on me

Thinking that

They are my parents

They have the rights

To torture me here & there

All was bearable

Until That fucking moment

When they said

Wish you were never born

And I was

Drained of all the hope

Of all the strength

Of that little amount of happiness

As if the carpet was pulled

From under my feet

I was broken into

Zillion little pieces

All scattered everywhere

I myself didn’t know

How to fix own self

So started living in the moment

Living the next 24 hours at a time

Not think much

Rather not think at all

Started all alone then

Now have some friends

With the same past as me

But I know we all got

Bigger better roads ahead

Because we got one another’s back

No matter the hard times..

Season of displeasure..

All good?

Great  !!

Because Good is good

All as expected

As thought

As visualized

Is awesome

But..

The opposite comes

It always comes

Sometimes

With full force

With all its prowess

All its arsenal

With our doom

As its dream

To crush us to pieces

To bury us miles underneath

To make us feel awful

About others & ourselves

To make us helpless

To make us shrink in confidence

To be termed as a failure

If not failure then a coward

These times are the times

Lived in the darkness of nights

In the dark corners of our hearts

Confusion wins over sanity

Fear wins over rationality

Sadness wins over happiness

You see everything happening

All at the same time

Like a rainfall of terrors

Downpour of displeasure

Pouring of unpleasant days

And you can just

Wait for the rain to slow down

Into a drizzle & eventually stop

Let the season of displeasure

Wither away

You stand good & straight

With firm will power

To walk again

Towards the better days

May be on the muddy road

But in the right direction

May be with less & unknown crowd

But with those who are not afraid

To journey towards their destination

Just like you

And when you reach there

You will find

The main pleasure lies in that

Season of displeasure..

Difference between E and I…

Think about your present
And the future
And life will be b’E’tter
Think about your past
And life will be b’I’tter
And that’s how its always is..
Do you agree??

Ain’t worth it…

Ain’t worth it…

That’s what she said

Not verbally

But with her actions

Like don’t call me baby publicly

Or hug me infront of all

Or stare at me in parties

And many other things

She said which also

Indicated the same

And at first I just smiled

And accepted it

Thinking may be she was uncomfortable

But boy was she?

Nope !!

She loves all these things

Someone staring at her

Someone hugging her tightly

And someone calling her names

It was just simple & plain

I was no longer that someone

And it dawned me a little late

But all I had in my control

Was to accept the fact that

I was not worth her

As per her

Or as per the new someone

But I knew

And somewhere deep inside she also knew

That She was not worth me !!

I shouldn’t have slept !!

I have never been
A big fan of sleep
As I feel that something
Will be missed
And it happened again
Still continues the trend
And I hope that I will
Not repeat it
I kept you waiting
Waiting for the whole night
I was all asleep
With you in my dreams
And you were awake
Waiting in reality
I feel so bad
To have kept you waiting
You told you were busy
With other friends
But I know deep down
You were hoping
That I shouldn’t had slept
So early
Which was unlike me
But then I woke up
To see your missed calls
And I feel so bad
And I know you have slept
We are together in your dreams
And now its my turn to wait
Till you wake up
Which is always very late
But this I deserve and
I am all happy to wait
And think about the good times
We spend & talk & cherish
Its all morning
And let me try something new
As in a walk to keep
My waiting all real
And occupied
Just thinking that you
Look most beautiful
While sleeping.

P.S. : I hate sleep for sure !!

That shirt !!!!

She had forgotten everything

Almost everything

I know because she didn’t reply back

Not to my mails or calls or messages

And I had also eventually moved on

With the fact scribbled in my mind

That I was not worth her

May be a bit in past but not anymore in present

And I was driving en-route office

And got a call from an unknown caller

I parked my car roadside

On receiving I heard nothing

Silence and some sobs after a while

And finally the voice I used to love once

She was all scattered at that moment

And I was too upon listening her sobs

I got out of my car and calmly asked

Her the reason for her sadness

And she was just crying loudly also

With hiccups

On insisting for long she replied

That just some moments back she

Was searching for an old gown of hers

And then she found THAT SHIRT

Which was what I had wore

When we became intimate the first time

And I asked her to keep it

And she used to wear the shirt

Everytime she missed me then

And finding that shirt made her realize

How wrong we both were and the ending

Of our story could had been different

But now everything was gone

And I know this feeling was just temporary

And thankfully she also felt the same

All she could say was that she would

Hang the shirt on the peg on the wall

Till sometime in future and

Reminisce the good ol days

I felt good that she at least contacted me

And I was back to my driver’s seat

And she again had the control over her life

And she got used to the feeling of that shirt

And it didn’t bring her those emotions back anymore

Now she knows how it felt when

I Looked at the shirt gifted by her

Which I had given to a needy

After some struggling days then !!

You are prettier only when..

You are prettier only when you listen to me

You are prettier only when you do as I say

You are prettier only when you keep your mouth shut

You are prettier only when you don’t think much

You are prettier only when I am happy

You are prettier only when you are by my side

You are prettier only when you stay obedient

You are prettier only when you stay loyal to me

You are prettier only when I love you

You are prettier only when things are in my favor

You are prettier only when I am all you got

You are prettier only when you owe me your happiness

You are prettier only when I want to make love to you

You are prettier only when you have me

And I m the ugliest when I have you

And to make both of us beautiful

You left me and

Now you definitely are valued and the most beautiful ♥

Love & it’s council of ministers..

Love can’t stay far

Nor near will be found love

Love has its own throne

Where?

Love has its own council of ministers

Whom?

But is this council loyal to love?

Do they want love to extend its reign?

Or they want love to be dethroned?

Either love can bank its trust on its council and be betrayed by them

Or love can think good for itself and remain the ruler

The Grand throne of Love is the Heart

And love’s council of ministers is lead by the Mind

Still picture of you..

I saw you walk away from me

Into the misty road ahead

For that very last time

With your hair tied in a bun

With orchids in one hand

And your cell phone in other

It was a difficult thing to see

And thankfully you didn’t look back

Or else you would had seen

The few drops of tears on the ground

And a confused expression on my face

But then I realized why you didn’t look back

Because if you would had done

Then I would had seen

Your face with spoiled makeup on cheeks

Your kajal all over your eyes

And all excitement of meeting me gone

And then I remembered what you said

Two months back

‘Darshith life is not only about you and me

Its about everything and our families too’

And I felt at that time what you said made sense

But didn’t ever thought that this one sentence

Will rob you away from me

And now all I am left with is our memories

And the still picture of your hair with bun

And phone and orchids and SILENCE !!

Afraid of what not..

We are so very afraid

Afraid of the known

Afraid of the unknown

Afraid of being rejected

Afraid of not meeting the expectations

Afraid of giving it a try

Afraid of keeping it in the heart

Afraid of letting go

Afraid of letting in

Afraid of the stormy night

Afraid of the peaceful dream

Afraid of the closeness

Afraid of the distances

Afraid of being in a limelight

Afraid of being ignored

Afraid of reaching greater heights

Afraid of not giving it a try

Afraid of daily routine

Afraid of the buried past

Afraid of the uncertain future

Afraid of the being a burden

Afraid of speaking up

Afraid of showing true emotions

Afraid of hiding true emotions

Afraid of what to do

Afraid of what not to do

Afraid of anything

Afraid of everything

Afraid of the never ending list

Afraid of life crawling away

Afraid of the people walking away

Afraid of things falling apart

Afraid of the choosing sides

Afraid of not following your heart

Afraid of following your heart & getting nowhere

Afraid of the known

Afraid of the unknown

Afraid of being afraid

Afraid of being unafraid

The more afraid you are

The more courageous you will be

Provided you want to stop being afraid

And become unafraid and free.