Still picture of you..

walking-away-in-mist (1)

I saw you walk away from me

Into the misty road ahead

For that very last time

With your hair tied in a bun

With orchids in one hand

And your cell phone in other

It was a difficult thing to see

And thankfully you didn’t look back

Or else you would had seen

The few drops of tears on the ground

And a confused expression on my face

But then I realized why you didn’t look back

Because if you would had done

Then I would had seen

Your face with spoiled makeup on cheeks

Your kajal all over your eyes

And all excitement of meeting me gone

And then I remembered what you said

Two months back

‘Darshith life is not only about you and me

Its about everything and our families too’

And I felt at that time what you said made sense

But didn’t ever thought that this one sentence

Will rob you away from me

And now all I am left with is our memories

And the still picture of your hair with bun

And phone and orchids and SILENCE !!

Counter clockwise moment..

I am trying to sleep staring at the ceiling of my room

Concentrating on the blades of the fan

How they are moving counter clockwise

And their peculiar movement brought back

All the hidden and long forgotten memories

It is as if I am looking on a projector

The blades of the fan not being any hindrance

I can see us talking on the couch

Laughing and teasing at the beginning

Being friends and exchanging numbers

Then talking to each other late nights

Trying to make the other smile when gloomy

Trying to make the other special

All those times of intermingled fingers

Of closeness and of intimate moments

All right there in front with the best smile

On her face and the feeling of completeness

On mine and the air filled with love and care

There were moments of tangos and dancing

And laughs and me on my knees

And she covering her face with her palm

There were moments of quarrels also

With her facing the other side

And me holding dairy milk but with vain

There were times of support also

When my Grandpa expired and she was there for me

Holding me right and trying her best to make me feel better

There were times of anger with no one letting go of ego

And not talking for weeks but just 1 sorry

1 smile was enough to make things straight

There were hugs and touches and locked lips and trust

It was US there and then a drop of tear

Rolled down from the corner of my right eye

It was like reality punched me at my gut

And all I could do was turn my side

Rub my face on the pillow

Hoping that she is happy and not going through the same phase

And not looking at the fan helped me

Avoid the past and gradually I was

Inside the blanket of sleep!!

All but one please..

That Go-to place..

It all came down on me at once..

It was raining when I left office

Had a stressed day

Was in an arguement with my senior

But then apologised and patched things up

But still, I shouldn’t had yelled at him

There I was in the bus

All wet from the rain

Sudden rainfall and you’re heavy

Thankfully got seat in the bus

And that too window was not being closed

And that was the last available empty seat

Rested my ass and exhaled

Closing my eyes and reminiscing the happenings of today

I have to control my tongue

Anger was correct I know that

And it was more irritation and frustration

And so and so

Went down the memory lane looking at the rain outside

How I have reached here, drenched and frustrated

And there it was, everything right in front of me

All the good days, bad days, ugly days

And time just flew away all in a flash

One blink of an eye and I was deserted

As if I was left behind, far behind

And all others, everyone have gone forward at lightning speed

It not only made me sad and devastated but also happy for all

As atleast they are doing good with their lives

I was left staring at my own reflection on the window glass

Which was dirty, misty and that blurred reflection said it all

Just then a drop of tear fell from my eye

And in the window reflection, I saw it’s course down my cheek to edge of the lip to the chin

And pretended(mostly to myself) that something entered my eye

Due to this windy raining evening

And when I saw if someone caught me shedding that one tear

I saw that no on was there for me or atleast looking at me

All were occupied with their own troubles or the temporary phase of happiness

And then I reached my stop

Gathered my bag, excused myself till the exit

And was down again in the rain and all drenched.

Sewed with Good Intentions..

You don’t have an ounce of knowledge

How I live my life

How I tackle with situations

How I confront my mistakes

How I accept the unavoidable

How I go an extra mile for some

How I pull out for the undeserving

How I became the one I am today

How I sometimes try to multi-task and succeed

How I just can’t do a small simple thing

How I smile outside with pain inside

How I manage my time to make you feel okay

How I sacrifice things to see you happy

How I smile seeing others at peace

How I feel guilt with others in pain

How I cry in restroom so that no one sees

How I laugh loudly to let others know I am okay

How I stand for things that always fall

How I give up on things that remained forever

How I feel alone with people everywhere around me

How I like being busy always so that no bad thoughts will come to me

How I sleep less hours to make sure I do what’s good for all

How I feel when I am in love with a gal

How I help you bring your feel-good-factor back

How I want to go to sleep when in anger and sadness

How I enjoy so much of that power nap

How I try to wake early for some purpose but fail

I am just a human filled with failures, regrets, success, hope, love, anger, sadness, emotions, guilt, truth, hard work,

But all sewed up with good intentions.

Harm’s way..

When you don’t get a reply,

You call and no answer,

You start getting worried,

What happened to my guy?


You talked to him just then,

And now he doesn’t respond,

You know that he must be occupied,

Or else he would love to hear your tone.


You wait for the call,

With your fingers crossed,

Hoping to hear HE MISSED YOU,

And all you got was tossed.


The love was always pure,

There was no doubt about faith,

But he was gone as of now,

And it was far more late.


He did this to protect you,

And you never needed protection,

You would had been in harm’s way,

And that’s the cause of your dissatisfaction.


You needed explanation and he needed trust,

Trust to not question his judgment,

Because you are his only priority,

And goodbye is all he could send.

Those days of Exams!!

Those days of academic life,

Those ringing of bells,

Those “START WRITING” & “PUT YOUR PENS DOWN”,

Those days of collecting the syllabus,

Those all night preparations,

Even though we didn’t know the answer then,

Those days of exams were good,

Because now,

We don’t know the center of examination,

Or the subject/chapters of exams,

Or even the invigilator,

Or even the passing marks,

Or even the language of question paper.

But exams are there,

More tougher and can’t-afford-to-fail exams,

Because these exams will determine the course of our life,

These exams decides who stays in our life and who says good-bye,

These exams gives us the taste of all the feelings in this world,

These exams comes unknocked and leaves us unspeakable,

These exams will either MAKE or BREAK us,

These exams will DEFINE us,

These exams are US.

Small bunch of important people!!

It’s rightly said “A small bunch of people can change the world. They are OUR FRIENDS.”

Easy come, Easy go!

But this is not how it turns out to be.

People come and they never leave,

yes, distance may increase, may be sometimes universe also changes, but the quality time spent,

the laughs shared, the glasses cheered, the puff of smoke blown,

the pat during hug, the sharing of secret, the comfort of silence,

the wink while befooling, the sleepless nights, the knowledge sharing of love & spiritual matters,

the feeling of being a Wing-man, the feeling of making a wing-man,

the feeling of having them always beside us,

the feeling of feeling every feeling with them.

This is how some people leave prints in our lives.

They may leave, but they will always be with us.

Dedicated to friends & their weird ways of making things easy!!

Crying is good for inner self!!

We have so many feelings buried deep within us. These feelings resurface and to name a few like love, hatred, anger, jealous, pain, sadness, kindness and lots..

We have ways of displaying these feelings like hugging, kissing, spreading smile, holding hands, throwing things, winking, crying..

We all are familiar with all these feelings and at some point or other in life we feel these feelings and act on these in our own unique ways..

Crying is the first feeling we feel when we are born. We cry even before realizing we’re crying and crying is always so very deeply entangled to our soul. One doesn’t cry just because he is sad and failed but also when he’s in fear.. when he’s happy.. when there is too much going on in his life and crying becomes just a passage to lighten his heart and sob for sometime to make the passage of time slow and make him realize that this dark time too shall pass, so taking extra tension won’t make him feel any better.

I hate to admit it but I seldom cry but when I do, I prefer having a good sleep after crying. I sob a lot with hiccups at the later stage of crying. Its a very soothing feeling for me because I rarely allow it to visit me and when it comes I embrace it with open arms and keep it near me for long. There have been many times when I wanted to cry and I know the situation also demanded me to shed a tear or two but there was no crying even though I felt the urge of crying but nothing.

Whenever I cry, I don’t like anyone watching me may be it makes me feel inferior or weak.. I know crying is not something to be ashamed of but it’s just that I don’t want people to see the lesser known side of me.. So whenever I feel like crying(which is very very less) I go to the washroom and calm myself down by crying. But then I accept the fact in front of my parents and siblings and friends that yes I cried and that too in a washroom 😀

So, even though crying is a very rare feeling for me but I feel connected to it and I know it makes me feel ‘UP’. At least, my eyes are cleaned naturally while crying.

I also believe in crying as much as I want but only once for any same reason. Never more than once. But I know it’s not within my control.

Cry for the sad, the dead, the helpless, the weak. But make sure you are back to yourself again after the moment and don’t let the same reason make you cry again.

Lighten your heart once in a while,
Darshith.