Contradicting thoughts

Sometimes
No, many times
I face a dilemma
That how can
I sway sides
And still not
Curse myself
For the instability
There are days
When I consider
Myself good
And a sane guy
And then the switch
Is pressed
The tables are turned
The tides rise high above
The horizon seems to move more farther
Stability just becomes a hollow word
Hell lose free
I become a devil
Devil for me
Devil for most
And I start thinking all bad
And somehow I get through it too
Just like everything else
And then the contradiction phase
Starts and I think
Why this happens?
Is it just me?
It sure isn’t just me
But it can be only me too
If it’s only me
Then I gotta find a solution to this
Or give up
But if it’s with others too
Then I gotta make sure
That I let everybody know this
And in return
Get some inputs
But most don’t care
About what’s happening with me
Because of the same reason
That I don’t care
What’s happening with them
So the no.of inputs decrease
But no matter the inputs
Come or not
Deep within I know
The present is perfect
Good or bad is an illusion
And living the present
In the best possible way
Is the best possible thing
I can do to keep
These contradicting nature at bay

P.S.: Weekend is here but it’s 3:30 am here & no particular song is coming to me. Feel free to share any of your present favorites here 😉 Goodnight!