Today was the last of the 25 days I spent at home
Because of my father’s health
And I had to leave 12 hours early to catch my flight
Because I had to collect some hospital documents
And it is tragic that you can’t spend extra time with your mother
We were making thepla together this morning
So that I can eat them at the airport whenever hungry
And the fan of the kitchen was not switched on
I saw a drop of sweat dancing on the tip of my mother’s nose
And I told her to switch on the fan
And then I realized that she had more tears than sweat on her face
And her eyes were all red
And she was trying to hold on to her tears
And I felt like the stupidest son ever
But this is how goodbyes are
And then we all have to part ways
Sooner or later
I wish I could make it better and easier for her and others, but, sadly I cannot.
And a video why all mothers are the best — Leaving Home
And to know why I am awesome, watch and subscribe to my YouTube channel, Darshith Badiyani
P.S.: Copyrights to http://www.shuttershock.com for the featured image. Rest all copyrights are mine 😉 How are you? I never missed writing because I just did not publish but wrote some good ideas down. Will post them. Song recommendation in the next post 😀
Have you had ups & downs in your life? Don’t consider me as a fool for asking that because there are people who lead a simple, normal life & that’s a bliss for them.
But then there are others whose life is a roller coaster. Daily. Weekly. Throughout the year. Yes, their lives take new directions almost every single day. With such impacting events, people are bound to have a wide range of emotions.
When events are in favour, people feel happiness, ecstatic, joy. When against, they feel gloomy, sad, disheartened. Then there comes the feeling of saturation, that feeling of nothingness(is it a feeling too?).
So now, I have a simple question for you all. All you gotta do is share your thoughts in the comments section.
“Is it emotionally stable or emotionally unstable to feel every feeling that needs to be felt?”
Just to explain, if a person feels all the above feelings whenever required, will you call the person as emotionally stable or unstable?
Stable because he feels a wide range of feelings(Kudos! He ain’t dead from within).
Unstable because he allows the situation/events to make him feel different every-fucking-time.
About me, I would say that I am someone who seldom feels differently. For me, success, failure, achievements, shortcomings, all is mostly the same. I try to maintain a gravity so that outside events don’t have a bigger impact on me. But then, it’s not always possible. But then sometimes I want to feel, actually feel things, and then I am numb.
So, shall I call myself emotionally stable or unstable? Help me!
Smiles,
Darshith
P.S. : Today’s song pick is Mirrors of Lil Wayne ft. Bruno Mars. Can looking at the mirrors help me(or anybody else) feel things better?
Our mind is like a history book. It keeps tracks of the good, the bad, and the ugly memories of our life. It’s said that when we are on the verge of being free from this world or have a near death experience(NDE), we see flashes of good times of ours in front of us.
How true is the above, I do not know because I haven’t had any NDE but I’d like to believe that it’s true. And for that, if I put myself in that situation I can say I will have some series of good memories flashing in front of me.
My beautiful memories would include falling from my bicycle in 1st standard(I was 6-7years old). It was a hot day and I was back from school. That day I was gifted a cycle by my parents. I was on cloud nine. My happiness knew no bounds. I didn’t even care to change my school dress after returning home. I saw the cycle with the key unlocked when I got down from my father’s bike. He said to me, “Son, this is your gift for getting good marks and also because you are of age to learn to ride a bicycle. Your sister has one & now it’s time for you to learn it too. Don’t try stunts & don’t ride alone. And one more thing, don’t compare yourself with your friends and all the things they have & you don’t because you don’t mention the things which you have & they don’t. And now, please smile, give me a hug, and go inside home and have some food.”
My father left for work and behind him, I also took my new red colored Neon cycle and sat on it with my left leg on the paddle & my right leg on the ground. My mother came shouting my name because I didn’t even keep my bag in the home. She knew it was going to be more trouble with this new cycle. She knew I was naughty and my naughtiness is going to increase with my new partner in crime being gifted to me. I called out to my sister but she didn’t respond. Maybe she was sleeping as she was sick and didn’t go to the school that day. I was getting impatient to ride my new cycle. I owned a tricycle and had ridden it numerous times in our lane and also on the street. But this new cycle was bigger than that. I was a dwarf then and hence it was difficult for me to reach the ground after applying brakes and prevent any mishap. I decided that I won’t ride sitting on the seat because my legs won’t reach the ground. I was not afraid of any injuries(I will get some days off from school & tuitions) but I was scared that my parents will take away my new cycle because I can’t ride properly & so I thought of riding it slowly & cautiously.
My mother asked me to come home & have some food but I was stern and lifted my right leg from the ground onto the paddle and off it went. I was finally riding my new cycle. The bell was also sounding melodious to me with its TIN-TIN sound. I was happy and frightened at the same moment. My mother had the same frightened expression on her face. She was surprised that I was able to ride it. I was smiling. I paddled it and it went smoothly. I had a dream of riding my cycle without holding its handle but I thought of performing that majestic stunt when my mother was not watching or else my father would definitely snatch away my precious gift. I kept paddling & I looked back to make sure that my mother was looking at me riding the cycle. I gave her a grin and waved my right hand in full swing. Her expression changed from frightening to fear and THUD!!
I groaned & shouted, “Moommmmmmm!!” and there she was, holding my head on her lap. I was crying because I had injured my knees(due to my school half pant). I accidentally rode over the bricks at the roadside and fell off. This is what happens when we are over excited. My mother caressed me and wiped my tears and kissed my forehead. She asked me to stop crying and also said that she was happy that I could ride my new cycle in the first attempt and she also promised that she won’t tell father anything about this incident. I didn’t believe her & she double promised me that she won’t. I took my cycle & thankfully there were no major scratches on it. We three walked to our home. I changed my clothes and freshened up and ate some food. My mother applied ointment on my injury too.
She made me promise that I won’t be this irresponsible again while riding my new bicycle and I gladly agreed. I loved the love I received from my mother. It was special and beautiful for me. My sister woke up from her nap and started laughing on seeing my injury but I had a feeling of pride on my face because of my valiant first attempt at cycle riding.
Now, I have seen my mother & father make so many sacrifices for our family but they have never let their children feel any different from the rest. They have done their best to impart good behavior and sane thinking in us. If we(my siblings & I) turn out to be bad/evil then it’s definitely our own fault 😀
There are many more beautiful memories but this will one of the top-rated stories for me and I will always remember the love in my mother’s eyes while wiping my tears. She had tears in her eyes. She was crying because I was crying. She was trying to stop me from crying while crying herself. This is why I love her the most and this is why this memory is my best beautiful memory. So, if ever I am in an NDE state, I will remember this good memory. It made me smile now too.
Google images
P.S.: Today’s pick is Shape of my heart by Backstreet boys(this is my favorite band) ❤ Today is the 3rd anniversary of Smiles here & smiles there 🙂 And this site exists because of my cousin Chinks. It’s her birthday today and she has always been a constant inspiration to me since my kiddo days ❤
As a youth, you have to be a part of a fist fight to show your manliness. Unfortunately, I haven’t been in any. Oh no! I remember now, I was also in a fist fight and it was started by him.
I didn’t want to ever add “BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT” to my life’s resume but we seldom get what we want. The worst part of being in a fist fight is either your face or your hands(sometimes both) are bruised. With me, it was none.
So the good news is, I smacked him. My right hand landed on his left chin, which burst open his lip and he was stunned. He didn’t expect this and so did I. Both were surprised, he fumbled and fell on the sofa and looked at me with anger in his eyes. I was holding his right hand with my left one. We made eye contact and the amount of hatred he had for me was waiting to be erupted as a volcano.
Nothing was audible to me. I was angry and it was only shown in my reflex punch & raging eyes. Other than that, I was calm. Then all of a sudden, voices started getting audible and started getting louder with rising decibel. Some cries, some begging. All vague.
I looked around and saw my mother pulling my shirt and begging me to stop. I couldn’t make sense of it all. I was hypnotised by emotions. Then the anger in my eyes descended and the anger in my father’s eyes too. He came to the realization that hitting his spouse do not make him any STRONGER and hence the reflex punch and that is how it feels to be beaten and that too by his own blood. I am sure he must have wished IF HIS SPERM DIDN’T FUSE MY MOM’S OVARY THAT NIGHT. But, the damage’s done & we all have to face the things we are entitled to. His time of realization had just started and he was within his boundaries since that fight.
Now, as a son, I don’t want this fight to be in my resume or to be proud of. But that’s life. We get what we are entitled to and not what we imagine.
It’s not difficult to be good
It’s not difficult to smile
It’s not difficult to be kind
It’s not difficult to be polite
It’s not difficult to forgive
It’s not difficult to succeed
It’s not difficult to improvise
It’s not difficult to enjoy
It’s not difficult to go for leap of faith
It’s not difficult to be patient
It’s not difficult to listen
It’s not difficult to do anything
Then what is difficult? Trying all the above is difficult
Because before trying
There is a 50-50 chance of outcome
But once we decide
Once we make our mind
Then there is no difficulty
Because after the decision
With some sincere actions
We will get success
And it becomes 100-0 for success
Well, having said that, everybody seems to be using this word these days, but seldom does anyone follow it. For me, love is something which happens with your growth in maturity – as an individual and within the soul as well. It’s not about smiling, giggling, but it’s about caring and facing the difficulties – at the back end of it. Every day you get up and do your routine work, nothing really special to remember. Nothing really matters. What matters is the image that comes before you close your sleepy eyes. The image that is inside you all day – which tends to flash every now and then. And you don’t have the sense to realise the destination where you actually end up landing without any control whatsoever. That is the effect of that image – anywhere, everywhere. This image is nothing but your love. Without her, you tend to hate everything and everyone. At work, she gets into your work, your reports, your records. At leisure, she is never out of your mind. The songs you love, kill you with her thoughts. All you want is to consume her love, her earthly body, her mind, her soul and even her spirit. You wanna own her completely. You can’t stand the sight of her talking to anyone else. You can’t stand the sight of her ignoring you. This is not unconditional love. This form of love is unique and destructive in nature. But it is by far purest too – as you don’t really give a damn to anyone else. For you, love and the object of love is the same and the only one, nothing else. This kind of love is destructive in nature ’cause it can harm your relationship with others and you turn villain in the eyes of worldly people – but you’re the hero of your own story. But what happens when your loved one gets to know about all these, about the real you? She will be over the moon, overwhelmed with joy which has no bounds. A woman wants nothing but loyalty. And this loyalty drives her crazy.
Unconditional love?
Nah, it’s not for me, not for her, not for us.
About the author: It’s not me. One of my cousins have written this post. He asked me not to reveal him & also mentioned that THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION 😛 I seriously doubt this 😉 But, he has been a support for me always and appreciates and guides me while writing. Hope you liked it and you can also express yourself in the comments section 😀
I am sober
You ask how long?
Almost 2 years
But..
Let me first define
Which Sober I am referring to
I am talking about
Being with a girl
Liked & loved by her
Like & love her back
I had someone in my life
Someone special
Things were all good
But unavoidable circumstances
Blessed us with parting ways
And it took some time to get over
And I hope it is all good now
But at some point
I will have to submit myself
To someone else
And I am also sure
It will be a mutual feeling
The feeling of submission
But the main hinderance is
Can I do that?
Am I that strong enough?
If my better half
Also had some past
Then I guess we can help each other
But what if not?
Then I think I will have to
Trust her
Believe her
That I can do it
Because no doubt
She will be wanting me
I will be wanting her
Badly enough
To do ANYTHING
And I guess
Being strong
Will be counted
Under anything
Smiles here & Smiles there 