Is it stability or totally opposite?

Have you had ups & downs in your life? Don’t consider me as a fool for asking that because there are people who lead a simple, normal life & that’s a bliss for them.

But then there are others whose life is a roller coaster. Daily. Weekly. Throughout the year. Yes, their lives take new directions almost every single day. With such impacting events, people are bound to have a wide range of emotions.

When events are in favour, people feel happiness, ecstatic, joy. When against, they feel gloomy, sad, disheartened. Then there comes the feeling of saturation, that feeling of nothingness(is it a feeling too?).

So now, I have a simple question for you all. All you gotta do is share your thoughts in the comments section.

“Is it emotionally stable or emotionally unstable to feel every feeling that needs to be felt?”

Just to explain, if a person feels all the above feelings whenever required, will you call the person as emotionally stable or unstable?

Stable because he feels a wide range of feelings(Kudos! He ain’t dead from within).
Unstable because he allows the situation/events to make him feel different every-fucking-time.

About me, I would say that I am someone who seldom feels differently. For me, success, failure, achievements, shortcomings, all is mostly the same. I try to maintain a gravity so that outside events don’t have a bigger impact on me. But then, it’s not always possible. But then sometimes I want to feel, actually feel things, and then I am numb.

So, shall I call myself emotionally stable or unstable? Help me!

Smiles,
Darshith

P.S. :  Today’s song pick is Mirrors of Lil Wayne ft. Bruno Mars. Can looking at the mirrors help me(or anybody else) feel things better?

As of now..

If you’re a daughter or a son, then please read along.

I won’t boast myself as a good, obedient son of my parents. Why I say this is because I have not lived my life as they wanted. I have spoken back to them. I have tried to make them see my point of view even though my view was hazy & blurred. I have disappointed them as a whole.

I have scored bad reputation points in the main phases of life. But, I have made sure that I score good reputation points in normal/ordinary scenarios.

I would proudly say that my parents have imparted good knowledge & behavior into me. Yes, I am proud of that! But I haven’t learned ALL of those from them. I have learned some of those from books, from my friends, and from the parents of my friends.

I love to learn. I love to see life in every tiny situation. My mother(Mumma) & I have a custom of going to a temple walking once in a while. That temple is 7 km away from our home. We walk to the temple & chant God’s name during the walk. FYI, I loved the movie ‘The Walk‘ & it helped me make vlogs for AtoZ challenge. Check them on my new YouTube channel, Darshith Badiyani(I know I gotta name it something relatable. but for now, this is all I got).

Some background knowledge would be appreciated by all. So, about Mumma, she is a typical Indian lady. She’s obedient to her husband and makes sure her kids are independent & well fed & well learned. She has taught numerous lessons to 3 of us(my sisters & me).

Mumma was a victim of domestic violence. To know more, read Fist fight. I hope it has stopped but then anger is something, which can invade our happy space within a jiffy.

Whenever I see my mother, I remember a quote, ‘This world has not turned bad because of the rising of the bad people but because of the silence of the good people.’

I always try to make Mumma realize this that she has to speak up. She remains silent in scenarios where she should speak, where she should shout, where she should wake everybody up with her shrieks. Yet she chooses to remain silent. She still does the same. I feel bad. I feel vulnerable. But, then I think of how she feels & I feel numb.

So, back to the present. Some weather updates, okay? There is a high alert in Orissa of a cyclone. So the weather remains unpredictable and classy. We were on the way to the temple, walking.

The uncertain weather showed it’s true face(winds blowing, trees doing the to-&-fro dance violently) & Mumma holds my arm. I was shocked. More shocked by the fact that Mumma was holding my arm with both her hands. I could sense her fear. I could feel her tremble. Truly speaking, I haven’t held the arm/hand of any girl publicly, even though I had a girlfriend once. So, this new public attachment was something new & alien to me.

I held Mumma’s hands. We walked ahead chanting God’s name. I felt confident to make her feel calm. I was scared, yes, but I had to act as if I was in control so that she can feel okay and seeing her feel okay, I can feel okay too. So, I knew this is a trick. A game played by nature to make me aware of how fearful my Mumma’s heart is. She’s yet vulnerable. But then we(all 3 of us) have to support her.

That walk was crucial to me. I learned things. I was chanting but my mind was wandering to the range of emotions we feel. Some emotions make a permanent place within us. We feel it & it feels us too. It becomes a parasite. It feeds on us. It becomes powerful each time the host feels it.

I knew all this but that walk made me feel it. I can’t describe how confusing & wonderful thing life is. It all depends on us how and what we make of it.

Right now, my life is all chaos but then I am ready to face anything & everything that comes along. I may fail, but I would have tried. I would have given my best.

My opinions & thoughts might change/evolve with the passage of time but this post is what I feel & know as of now.

Smiles,
Darshith

Respect the difference

Music
Is love
You can argue
Or you can agree
I won’t judge
It ain’t my character
I know what it means to me
It may mean something different
To you and I would
Accept your meaning
Of music and rhythm
So don’t try to force
Your meaning onto me
And make me follow that
Different people
Different perspective
Different meanings
Even though same words
Same situation
Same feeling
And I would beg you
Don’t restrict this to music only
Respect the meanings
Of other’s words
Other’s feelings
Other’s thoughts
We express things differently
Because we feel differently
Respect the difference

P.S.: Today’s pick is Counting stars of one republic 😉

Go for whatever makes you happy..

Go for whatever makes you happy 🙂

For weekend is here

For your happiness is here

You just need to see

Sneak a peak

Not outside

But inside yourself

Explore, not the world

But explore yourself

Not to different places

But to different senses & feelings

Dream

And chase your dream

Because if you won’t

Who will?

I ain’t running after your dreams

I have my own

Make your dreams your own

Chase it

Fulfill it

Live it

And once you do that

You will be happy

Go for whatever makes you happy 🙂

Sober or Submission..

I am sober
You ask how long?
Almost 2 years
But..
Let me first define
Which Sober I am referring to
I am talking about
Being with a girl
Liked & loved by her
Like & love her back
I had someone in my life
Someone special
Things were all good
But unavoidable circumstances
Blessed us with parting ways
And it took some time to get over
And I hope it is all good now
But at some point
I will have to submit myself
To someone else
And I am also sure
It will be a mutual feeling
The feeling of submission
But the main hinderance is
Can I do that?
Am I that strong enough?
If my better half
Also had some past
Then I guess we can help each other
But what if not?
Then I think I will have to
Trust her
Believe her
That I can do it
Because no doubt
She will be wanting me
I will be wanting her
Badly enough
To do ANYTHING
And I guess
Being strong
Will be counted
Under anything

Intervention !!

For so many years

I didn’t know

The existence of such

A beauty queen

Nor she knew

That I existed

Then fate intervened

We were introduced

And so began

A story

A story of knowing

A story of trust

A story of likeness

A story of love

Time went by

As in days &

Weeks & months

And things were

Adding up for both

She doubted whether

I was the One she needs

I knew for sure

She is the One I ever needed

And it was good

How we both spent

Time & moments together

Now she realized

I surely am the One

She needed

She loved me loads

And I loved her a lot

Or to say the truth

She loves me loads

And I love her a lot

But fate had some

Other vicious plans

And its intervention

Separated us

But not the love

We shared for each other

In our hearts

And I know that

We both curse

Fate & time

For bringing

The right person &

The best person

At wrong time

But are happy to

Have been an important

Part of each other’s life

Even for less time

But that time was AMAZING !!

Fate & Time

may control how we end up

But they can never control

The way I deeply feel

for you Gurl !!

Never again the same intensity..

Avoid all you want to

But deep in your heart

You know I made you feel alive

You skipped a beat for what you felt

Now avoiding won’t hide things

Because your actions have spoken

The unspeakable

If you won’t talk then also no regrets

Because you also made me feel the same gal

And that moment of the MUTUAL feeling

Contained LIFE HOPE SATISFACTION HAPPINESS

And you can get it all again

But not all together

Not sure your feelings will be reciprocated

Not with the same intensity!!

Crying is good for inner self!!

We have so many feelings buried deep within us. These feelings resurface and to name a few like love, hatred, anger, jealous, pain, sadness, kindness and lots..

We have ways of displaying these feelings like hugging, kissing, spreading smile, holding hands, throwing things, winking, crying..

We all are familiar with all these feelings and at some point or other in life we feel these feelings and act on these in our own unique ways..

Crying is the first feeling we feel when we are born. We cry even before realizing we’re crying and crying is always so very deeply entangled to our soul. One doesn’t cry just because he is sad and failed but also when he’s in fear.. when he’s happy.. when there is too much going on in his life and crying becomes just a passage to lighten his heart and sob for sometime to make the passage of time slow and make him realize that this dark time too shall pass, so taking extra tension won’t make him feel any better.

I hate to admit it but I seldom cry but when I do, I prefer having a good sleep after crying. I sob a lot with hiccups at the later stage of crying. Its a very soothing feeling for me because I rarely allow it to visit me and when it comes I embrace it with open arms and keep it near me for long. There have been many times when I wanted to cry and I know the situation also demanded me to shed a tear or two but there was no crying even though I felt the urge of crying but nothing.

Whenever I cry, I don’t like anyone watching me may be it makes me feel inferior or weak.. I know crying is not something to be ashamed of but it’s just that I don’t want people to see the lesser known side of me.. So whenever I feel like crying(which is very very less) I go to the washroom and calm myself down by crying. But then I accept the fact in front of my parents and siblings and friends that yes I cried and that too in a washroom 😀

So, even though crying is a very rare feeling for me but I feel connected to it and I know it makes me feel ‘UP’. At least, my eyes are cleaned naturally while crying.

I also believe in crying as much as I want but only once for any same reason. Never more than once. But I know it’s not within my control.

Cry for the sad, the dead, the helpless, the weak. But make sure you are back to yourself again after the moment and don’t let the same reason make you cry again.

Lighten your heart once in a while,
Darshith.