Mothers, prayers, and what not

I have seen my mother pray
Pray with full dedication
As if nothing else exists
As if nothing else matters
She prays for everyone
Maybe except for herself
Sometimes she cries
Something has to be bothering her
She doesn’t want to share it with us

Today, I was at a church in Kanyakumari
On my path to self-discovery
Reading The pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho there
And penning down some of my thoughts
I heard some sobs and crying
On looking, I saw a mother
Praying to Jesus
Asking for some fortunate events maybe
While her two kids were sleeping on the floor
Tears running down her cheeks
With a religious book in her hand
With thousands of thoughts in her mind
Of the imminent future
And the testing present

And then she calmed down
Bowed in front of Him
And kissed the kids
Woke them up and off they went

Maybe, my mother cries for the same reason while praying
For her kids, her family
Seldom for herself
And now what makes me cry
Is that my mother cries for others
And so does her son.

Amen!

Date: 22/Dec/2019

Place: Kanyakumari

P.S.: Happy 2020, fellas! 😛 How are you all? Today’s song pick is Khud se by Osho Jain.

One of the many mothers who cry

Today was the last of the 25 days I spent at home
Because of my father’s health
And I had to leave 12 hours early to catch my flight
Because I had to collect some hospital documents
And it is tragic that you can’t spend extra time with your mother
We were making thepla together this morning
So that I can eat them at the airport whenever hungry
And the fan of the kitchen was not switched on
I saw a drop of sweat dancing on the tip of my mother’s nose
And I told her to switch on the fan
And then I realized that she had more tears than sweat on her face
And her eyes were all red
And she was trying to hold on to her tears
And I felt like the stupidest son ever
But this is how goodbyes are
And then we all have to part ways
Sooner or later

I wish I could make it better and easier for her and others, but, sadly I cannot.

Click to know the recipe to make theplas.

And a video why all mothers are the best — Leaving Home

And to know why I am awesome, watch and subscribe to my YouTube channel, Darshith Badiyani

P.S.: Copyrights to http://www.shuttershock.com for the featured image. Rest all copyrights are mine 😉 How are you? I never missed writing because I just did not publish but wrote some good ideas down. Will post them. Song recommendation in the next post 😀

 

Permanent love being sidelined

It rings

And rings

And keeps on ringing

Without anyone paying any attention to it

And then it stops

All silent again

Still silent!

The screen shows 3 missed calls

from MOTHER INDIA

Look at my courage!

Daring enough to not receive her calls

Definitely, I am on the fire line

But I know that she will understand

Me being busy

She might think that either I am asleep

Or busy doing something important

I was and I was not

I could have received her call

But I was busy with the worldly love

The temporary love

The physical love

In the arms of someone

I know just for some weeks

And avoiding the permanent love

The only love I know before my birth

Credits: Google

 

P.S.: Yo! How are you? I am back again to the writing world. I went to Orissa for holidays and had a great time. Will share pics in the next blog. Where are you guys holidaying? Summer is here and so is appraisal cycle in work. How is your work going on? You like appraisal cycle? What do you think can be made good in it? New vlogs coming up @Darshith Badiyani. This blog’s song is THE BIG BANG by Rock Mafia ft. Miley Cyrus.

One of the many beautiful moments in life

Our mind is like a history book. It keeps tracks of the good, the bad, and the ugly memories of our life. It’s said that when we are on the verge of being free from this world or have a near death experience(NDE), we see flashes of good times of ours in front of us.

How true is the above, I do not know because I haven’t had any NDE but I’d like to believe that it’s true. And for that, if I put myself in that situation I can say I will have some series of good memories flashing in front of me.

My beautiful memories would include falling from my bicycle in 1st standard(I was 6-7years old). It was a hot day and I was back from school. That day I was gifted a cycle by my parents. I was on cloud nine. My happiness knew no bounds. I didn’t even care to change my school dress after returning home. I saw the cycle with the key unlocked when I got down from my father’s bike. He said to me, “Son, this is your gift for getting good marks and also because you are of age to learn to ride a bicycle. Your sister has one & now it’s time for you to learn it too. Don’t try stunts & don’t ride alone. And one more thing, don’t compare yourself with your friends and all the things they have & you don’t because you don’t mention the things which you have & they don’t. And now, please smile, give me a hug, and go inside home and have some food.”

My father left for work and behind him, I also took my new red colored Neon cycle and sat on it with my left leg on the paddle & my right leg on the ground. My mother came shouting my name because I didn’t even keep my bag in the home. She knew it was going to be more trouble with this new cycle. She knew I was naughty and my naughtiness is going to increase with my new partner in crime being gifted to me. I called out to my sister but she didn’t respond. Maybe she was sleeping as she was sick and didn’t go to the school that day. I was getting impatient to ride my new cycle. I owned a tricycle and had ridden it numerous times in our lane and also on the street. But this new cycle was bigger than that. I was a dwarf then and hence it was difficult for me to reach the ground after applying brakes and prevent any mishap. I decided that I won’t ride sitting on the seat because my legs won’t reach the ground. I was not afraid of any injuries(I will get some days off from school & tuitions) but I was scared that my parents will take away my new cycle because I can’t ride properly & so I thought of riding it slowly & cautiously.

My mother asked me to come home & have some food but I was stern and lifted my right leg from the ground onto the paddle and off it went. I was finally riding my new cycle. The bell was also sounding melodious to me with its TIN-TIN sound. I was happy and frightened at the same moment. My mother had the same frightened expression on her face. She was surprised that I was able to ride it. I was smiling. I paddled it and it went smoothly. I had a dream of riding my cycle without holding its handle but I thought of performing that majestic stunt when my mother was not watching or else my father would definitely snatch away my precious gift. I kept paddling & I looked back to make sure that my mother was looking at me riding the cycle. I gave her a grin and waved my right hand in full swing. Her expression changed from frightening to fear and THUD!!

I groaned & shouted, “Moommmmmmm!!” and there she was, holding my head on her lap. I was crying because I had injured my knees(due to my school half pant). I accidentally rode over the bricks at the roadside and fell off. This is what happens when we are over excited. My mother caressed me and wiped my tears and kissed my forehead. She asked me to stop crying and also said that she was happy that I could ride my new cycle in the first attempt and she also promised that she won’t tell father anything about this incident. I didn’t believe her & she double promised me that she won’t. I took my cycle & thankfully there were no major scratches on it. We three walked to our home. I changed my clothes and freshened up and ate some food. My mother applied ointment on my injury too.

She made me promise that I won’t be this irresponsible again while riding my new bicycle and I gladly agreed. I loved the love I received from my mother. It was special and beautiful for me. My sister woke up from her nap and started laughing on seeing my injury but I had a feeling of pride on my face because of my valiant first attempt at cycle riding.

Now, I have seen my mother & father make so many sacrifices for our family but they have never let their children feel any different from the rest. They have done their best to impart good behavior and sane thinking in us. If we(my siblings & I) turn out to be bad/evil then it’s definitely our own fault 😀

There are many more beautiful memories but this will one of the top-rated stories for me and I will always remember the love in my mother’s eyes while wiping my tears. She had tears in her eyes. She was crying because I was crying. She was trying to stop me from crying while crying herself. This is why I love her the most and this is why this memory is my best beautiful memory. So, if ever I am in an NDE state, I will remember this good memory. It made me smile now too.

 

Google images

 

 

P.S.: Today’s pick is Shape of my heart by Backstreet boys(this is my favorite band) ❤ Today is the 3rd anniversary of Smiles here & smiles there 🙂 And this site exists because of my cousin Chinks. It’s her birthday today and she has always been a constant inspiration to me since my kiddo days ❤

Fist fight

As a youth, you have to be a part of a fist fight to show your manliness. Unfortunately, I haven’t been in any. Oh no! I remember now, I was also in a fist fight and it was started by him.

I didn’t want to ever add “BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT” to my life’s resume but we seldom get what we want. The worst part of being in a fist fight is either your face or your hands(sometimes both) are bruised. With me, it was none.

So the good news is, I smacked him. My right hand landed on his left chin, which burst open his lip and he was stunned. He didn’t expect this and so did I. Both were surprised, he fumbled and fell on the sofa and looked at me with anger in his eyes. I was holding his right hand with my left one. We made eye contact and the amount of hatred he had for me was waiting to be erupted as a volcano.

Nothing was audible to me. I was angry and it was only shown in my reflex punch & raging eyes. Other than that, I was calm. Then all of a sudden, voices started getting audible and started getting louder with rising decibel. Some cries, some begging. All vague.

I looked around and saw my mother pulling my shirt and begging me to stop. I couldn’t make sense of it all. I was hypnotised by emotions.  Then the anger in my eyes descended and the anger in my father’s eyes too. He came to the realization that hitting his spouse do not make him any STRONGER and hence the reflex punch and that is how it feels to be beaten and that too by his own blood. I am sure he must have wished IF HIS SPERM DIDN’T FUSE MY MOM’S OVARY THAT NIGHT. But, the damage’s done & we all have to face the things we are entitled to. His time of realization had just started and he was within his boundaries since that fight.

Now, as a son, I don’t want this fight to be in my resume or to be proud of. But that’s life. We get what we are entitled to and not what we imagine.

P.S.: Today’s pick is Army of Ellie Goulding 🙂

No More pleading..

Pleads

To not harm

To not beat anymore

To not give pain

Comes from the heart

Of a mother

When her children

Are being tormented

By their own father

Because they are

Close to the mother

And not him

Because they share

Their feelings with her

And not him

And the mother

Cries helplessly

Pleads for mercy

Begs for the torment

To stop

Not thinking

That the mother has

All the power

To take care of her children

And take them with her

Just as she would had done

If not for her husband

She is strong

She knows it

And could had proved also

But it was her husband

She was to face

And that made her weak

That made her a crying doll

That made her a puppet

This made her children weak

This made him strong

Because she had forgotten

That other’s weakness

Is not her strength

And vice versa

When she realized

She acted

She stood her ground

Protected her children

And now they all smile

And try to help as many as possible..

What about the father?

No one cares..

P.S. :  And here ends another month, another September and today’s choice is When September ends of Green day 🙂

Secrets..

tpp, tpp, tpp
tpp, tpp, tpp
tpp, tpp, tpp, tpp

With each step ahead
tpp, tpp, tpp
Sweat from the brow
tpp, tpp, tpp
Destination beyond horizon
tpp, tpp, tpp
Next level of dehydration
tpp, tpp, tpp
No one to help
tpp, tpp, tpp
Track me by the sweat trail
tpp, tpp, tpp
I may not go long
tpp, tpp, tpp
I may stumble in the next step
tpp, tpp, tpp
How did I reach here?
tpp, tpp, tpp
tpp, tpp, tpp
tpp, tpp, tpp
Oh, I am tired to move anymore
The sunburn hurts
The injuries hurt
tpp, tpp, tpp
Have been dragging my feet
Since last 6 hours
tpp, tpp, tpp
I have been free
Since the same last 6 hours
tpp, tpp, tpp
Before that
I was held
I was a hostage
tpp, tpp, tpp
I was kicked, punched
tpp, tpp, tpp
I was beaten
By a stick, rod, belt
You name it
I was tortured
Several teeth cracked
Limbs broken
tpp, tpp, tpp
But I didn’t give up
I didn’t tell them the secrets
I sacrificed my life
Life of my family
My mother, wife and son
tpp, tpp, tpp
But didn’t tell my enemies
Anything valuable
Luckily got hold of a blade
tpp, tpp, tpp
Killed 2 and in return
Got shot twice
tpp, tpp, tpp
Running towards the border
But, where is it?
tpp, tpp, tpp
I know I won’t be able
To meet anyone anymore
But
tpp, tpp, tpp
At least I will not die a hostage
Not as a turncloak

tpp, tpp, tpp
tpp, tpp, tpp, tpp
tpp,tpp, tpp
A herd of Eagles hovering
tpp, tpp, tpp

due image credits

The power of extra “S”..

“She” is always more than “He”, in the number of letters and every other aspect.

Strength, tolerance, sacrifice, care and will power are all her jewels and she wears them with dignity.

Salute to every women for the various million reasons.

Respect them, preserve them, believe in them and that’s how we believe in ourselves.

I swear I tried..

As I see the

Tears from the sky

Fall on the surface

Of the earth

And mostly it

Brings joy to me

But today

I m Drenched and

Hollow and

Gloomy

Because

The past

Hindered with me

As I saw the scars

Again on her face

Her cute little face

Blood dripping from it

Her eyes blood red

She all scared

By not the scars

Because she can lie

But the scars won’t lie

They will scream

About the beatings

About the slaps

About the torture

About the violence

About the victory

Of that fucking SOB

Because she chose to lie

She chose to stay mum

She chose to love him

She chose to forgive him

And by doing this

She chose Death

Not the easy soothing & immediate one

But a more grievous

Day-by-day one

And God help her with

Her slow poison death

And I tried

I swear I tried

To help her

To stop him

And it did stop

But it was just

A matter of days

And the ritual has

Again started

And its more fierce

As if the days off

Are being paid

With interest

And now all I can

Do to save my Angel

My mother

Is cry with her

And hope that

As the rain water

Gets washed into drains

Our tears will somehow

Find there way to peace

RIP Packed Sunday!!

I knew a long day was ahead and it turned out to be true. My weekends are far more busy than the weekdays.

Woke late because I was watching Homeland s02 late night yesterday. Went for haircut and this present haircut is not that good and I am not liking it 😦 but my Mother is assuring me that my hairs are gonna grow big by Wednesday, but she failed to mention which Wednesday 😀

After that, went to give “Boys over flowers” series to a friend. Then after getting fresh, went to do a noble job. Donated blood for the 4th time in life. It was good and joined as a member of the Angel’s organisation who was organising the blood camp. They are a bunch of great people who do many social services far more often.

Today was also the marriage of a friend’s sister. Went their travelling 30km. It was a great time spent with him & other friends together. While handing the gift to the Bride, I mistakenly, I repeat wrongly, wished ‘Happy Anniversary!!’ 😀 and the expression on the face of the Groom was like ‘What? Are you sane, Brother!! We just got married 3 hours ago’ and it was a facepalm moment and all I could utter was ‘Camera nervousness’ 😀 Wow, now can I BE more unmindful 😉

At the back of all this India lost the match to Australia in cricket, but gave a good fight. So happy with the contest.
Travelled back home. Now infront of TV, watching a much awaited match between Manchester City & Arsenal. At half time the score is 0-1. Gunners leading, thanks to Cazorla’s corner and now they lead against the last year’s champions.

12 hours of packed schedule on a sunday 😉 I didn’t get much chance to read Pride & Prejudice also.

After the match, Carrie & Brody of Homeland will be started. And after all, getting ready to face the monday blues and hope for a good week ahead. I am sure next weekend will also be same packed as this one.

Happy week ahead,
Darshith.