Was it love or one-night stand ?!!

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Was it love?

Or a longer version of

One-night stand?

We knew each other

And don’t misunderstand

It for a deep relationship

It was all hi, hello, and bbye

Added with sex

And then again vanish

From each other’s life

All to meet again

For moments of pleasure

Or satisfaction or some change

Just to be puff again

And that was satisfying

To me and to her also

Or that’s what she said

I didn’t try to dig deep

Into what she actually felt

Because that would leave me

All vulnerable and alone and beatable

And just a hint of the breeze

Will be my downfall

So to avoid my downfall

I played with her

Or again was it me being played?

Every moment of separation was chaos

And seldom we thought about each other

Maybe mostly when we were in the

Arms of our better halves

But we missed & imagined each other

During that moment of pleasure

When the toes are all curled

Lips are all wet

Fingers on the back of the skin

Of the other

Just hoping to open eyes

To the familiar face of her

Smiling back & wanting me more

And it was always my better half there

Whom I loved no doubt

But definitely

Less than her

And after the act

I was always happy

With my better half but

Then why do I miss her during the act?

I have been pondering on that

Since we were apart and will

Keep on pondering till

My heart & soul & body are apart

What is love and what is One-night stand?

Ask me and all you will get

Is silence !!

P.S.: This was a draft since more than 2 years and I do not know how twisted my mind was or it still is 😀 Hope you enjoyed the chaotic taste of love and yeah, have a great weekend! And as September is on the verge of ending, this post’s song is Meant to be by Bebe Rexha. And, remember my YouTube channel, Darshith Badiyani, please do the honors 😀

As of now..

If you’re a daughter or a son, then please read along.

I won’t boast myself as a good, obedient son of my parents. Why I say this is because I have not lived my life as they wanted. I have spoken back to them. I have tried to make them see my point of view even though my view was hazy & blurred. I have disappointed them as a whole.

I have scored bad reputation points in the main phases of life. But, I have made sure that I score good reputation points in normal/ordinary scenarios.

I would proudly say that my parents have imparted good knowledge & behavior into me. Yes, I am proud of that! But I haven’t learned ALL of those from them. I have learned some of those from books, from my friends, and from the parents of my friends.

I love to learn. I love to see life in every tiny situation. My mother(Mumma) & I have a custom of going to a temple walking once in a while. That temple is 7 km away from our home. We walk to the temple & chant God’s name during the walk. FYI, I loved the movie ‘The Walk‘ & it helped me make vlogs for AtoZ challenge. Check them on my new YouTube channel, Darshith Badiyani(I know I gotta name it something relatable. but for now, this is all I got).

Some background knowledge would be appreciated by all. So, about Mumma, she is a typical Indian lady. She’s obedient to her husband and makes sure her kids are independent & well fed & well learned. She has taught numerous lessons to 3 of us(my sisters & me).

Mumma was a victim of domestic violence. To know more, read Fist fight. I hope it has stopped but then anger is something, which can invade our happy space within a jiffy.

Whenever I see my mother, I remember a quote, ‘This world has not turned bad because of the rising of the bad people but because of the silence of the good people.’

I always try to make Mumma realize this that she has to speak up. She remains silent in scenarios where she should speak, where she should shout, where she should wake everybody up with her shrieks. Yet she chooses to remain silent. She still does the same. I feel bad. I feel vulnerable. But, then I think of how she feels & I feel numb.

So, back to the present. Some weather updates, okay? There is a high alert in Orissa of a cyclone. So the weather remains unpredictable and classy. We were on the way to the temple, walking.

The uncertain weather showed it’s true face(winds blowing, trees doing the to-&-fro dance violently) & Mumma holds my arm. I was shocked. More shocked by the fact that Mumma was holding my arm with both her hands. I could sense her fear. I could feel her tremble. Truly speaking, I haven’t held the arm/hand of any girl publicly, even though I had a girlfriend once. So, this new public attachment was something new & alien to me.

I held Mumma’s hands. We walked ahead chanting God’s name. I felt confident to make her feel calm. I was scared, yes, but I had to act as if I was in control so that she can feel okay and seeing her feel okay, I can feel okay too. So, I knew this is a trick. A game played by nature to make me aware of how fearful my Mumma’s heart is. She’s yet vulnerable. But then we(all 3 of us) have to support her.

That walk was crucial to me. I learned things. I was chanting but my mind was wandering to the range of emotions we feel. Some emotions make a permanent place within us. We feel it & it feels us too. It becomes a parasite. It feeds on us. It becomes powerful each time the host feels it.

against-the-wind

I knew all this but that walk made me feel it. I can’t describe how confusing & wonderful thing life is. It all depends on us how and what we make of it.

Right now, my life is all chaos but then I am ready to face anything & everything that comes along. I may fail, but I would have tried. I would have given my best.

My opinions & thoughts might change/evolve with the passage of time but this post is what I feel & know as of now.

Smiles,
Darshith

Voice of silence

“Shh!”
“Shhhh!!”
That’s what she said
Or rather she indicated
But I wanted to know
What exactly she wanted
Me to listen to
By staying silent
As I had just come home
From work and was tired
But still I obeyed her
And I was all silent
I stopped my regular
Process of breathing
Just to listen what she meant
And then after several seconds
And no voice
I whispered, “What is it?”
She stared at me
In disgust
As I was not able
To understand her
Signs & her silence
And just on looking
At where she was pointing
I was speechless
My laptop bag dropped on the ground
My tensed face turned
Into that exact smiling
Face I was staring at
Yes, we were looking
At our daughter trying
To stand up for the first time
With the help of a chair
And on achieving that
She had the best smile
And we both had tears
Smiling tears on our faces
And then that silence
Was broken by the glee
Of our daughter’s laugh

image

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggersby BlogAdda.

P.S. : Next week is almost there so today’s pick is Take me to church of Hozier. It’s my recent favorite as it was shared by a good friend of mine 😉

Silence..

“Best to speak silence and mean everything than say hollow words and mean nothing.” – Darshith

Thanks to Adi, Roopam & Kritika to nominate me for the quote challenge. Each of them is a wonderful writer with superb thoughts 🙂

silence

I nominate Soheir for the quotes challenge 🙂

From time to time..

reminiscing

Want to listen something?
Something, which matters
Not only to you
But also to me
And also to every individual
Then follow the below
No matter whether
You’re reading this on laptop
Or your phones
Just be calm
Stop any music, if you’re playing
Stop any other work
Just for 2 minutes
Give me that
Concentrate
Be still
And think of yourself
Your life
Your happiness
Your pain
Your failures
Your achievements
Let all these
Play in a slideshow
In your mind
Let it roll
Let it be remembered
Let it be there
In your minds
Forever
Remember to cherish
And cherish to remember
Be grateful to everyone
Be happy for everything
Be blessed by all
Spread the smiles
And the realization
That we’re humans
And it’s absolutely okay
To take sometime out
And let the slideshow run
Listen to the silence around you
Listen to the voices inside
Listen to the screams of your heart
Listen to the unhearable..

Still picture of you..

walking-away-in-mist (1)

I saw you walk away from me

Into the misty road ahead

For that very last time

With your hair tied in a bun

With orchids in one hand

And your cell phone in other

It was a difficult thing to see

And thankfully you didn’t look back

Or else you would had seen

The few drops of tears on the ground

And a confused expression on my face

But then I realized why you didn’t look back

Because if you would had done

Then I would had seen

Your face with spoiled makeup on cheeks

Your kajal all over your eyes

And all excitement of meeting me gone

And then I remembered what you said

Two months back

‘Darshith life is not only about you and me

Its about everything and our families too’

And I felt at that time what you said made sense

But didn’t ever thought that this one sentence

Will rob you away from me

And now all I am left with is our memories

And the still picture of your hair with bun

And phone and orchids and SILENCE !!