Holding on & letting go

In the last few months
I tried to change a habit of mine
I used to hold my blanket in my sleep
Hold till my neck in a grip
And when I used to wake up
I felt something different in my fingers
They felt tired and looked like a claw
In seconds, it would be all good
But one night I decided while sleeping
I won’t do it
I won’t let my body hold the blanket involuntarily
I wanted to practice letting go
Letting go of the blanket
Letting go of the troubles of life
Letting go of the nightmares
Letting go of stuff not meant for me
Just letting go
And it worked
Maybe not like a charm in the beginning
But it worked
And I kind of mastered it
Fast forward and I find myself in the same loop
Of holding on
Is this never going to let go of me?
I don’t think so
And again the process of
Letting go starts
Maybe the old trick might not work
We’ll try something new
But it starts
All I want is my fingers to feel free when I wake up
Will I get there?
Of course, man!
When?
Time will tell
Because all the letting go processes are different
So, good luck for your letting go of stuff
Which we have been holding on maybe forcefully

No copyrights

P.S.: Today’s song pick is Bad Behaviour by Mabel. Happy weekend!

Life as we know it

“Life is how we see it.” Some similar quote may have been said by someone famous & wise, but this is what I have realized lately about life. Few of you may agree to it & most of you may not. I don’t hold grudges against you, just chill 😀

Why I reached this conclusion? I have been a part of some devastating life changing incidents lately. Those have let me reach to the above statement.

I have a 6-month married cousin, who is just 1-year elder to me & has been my partner-in-crime since childhood days. He suffered a minor heart stroke 2 weeks back & had to be admitted to a hospital. Doctor said it was all normal & he has to cut out eating fast food & fried food of outside. The best way to live for him without further similar problems is NOT to eat anything spicy outside.

This kept me thinking. At such a tender age(20s’), restrictions have started to grow its root in his life. But then there’s no other way for him.

I had another cousin, yes, I know I wrote HAD because she expired some days back. She was a teenager and this mishap happened because she had some sugar related health issues. That news came as a shock. I couldn’t take her out of my mind. She’s the one who introduced me to this wonderful song, Amnesia(one among the many). She made me love One Direction. She’s left a void, no doubt.

Both the incidents happened within 2 days and they were quite a setback. Life is sensitive. Life is never in our control. We are always under the obligation that life will vanish into thin air and never be found. We, as humans, are helpless creatures.

Why did I mention this here? Because I know we all have trouble, shortcomings, & our own set of problems in life. We have tension of job & family & studies. But we have to make sure that it don’t get into our brain. The troubles should me thought of as a guest visitor in our home & not a permanent resident. If you have the power, don’t open your doors to trouble, but then they find their way inside somehow.

I have problems too. I have job-related tension and other stuff but then after going through the above 2 incidents, I realized, thinking & over thinking won’t help me in any way. The only thing that will help me is THOUGHTFUL ACTION.

I have to do what I love. I don’t have to invest a single second thinking about the things that drain me from within. If I don’t like someone, l will leave them. If I don’t like my job, I will leave it. If I love someone, I will let them know how much they mean to me. Because, in the end, nothing will count except how I felt myself & how I made others feel. So, feel positive things & try to spread this inner positive feeling to others. We all need it. Sharing is the best way of communication.

P.S.: I want to say, “I am back, bitches!” but I can’t 😉 I will start blogging again soon(gimme some weeks) and today’s song pick is Lush life by Zara Larrson. I will also do the remaining videos of AtoZ challenge but I am occupied as of now so they will be coming in 2-3 months time 😉

It all came down on me at once..

It was raining when I left office

Had a stressed day

Was in an arguement with my senior

But then apologised and patched things up

But still, I shouldn’t had yelled at him

There I was in the bus

All wet from the rain

Sudden rainfall and you’re heavy

Thankfully got seat in the bus

And that too window was not being closed

And that was the last available empty seat

Rested my ass and exhaled

Closing my eyes and reminiscing the happenings of today

I have to control my tongue

Anger was correct I know that

And it was more irritation and frustration

And so and so

Went down the memory lane looking at the rain outside

How I have reached here, drenched and frustrated

And there it was, everything right in front of me

All the good days, bad days, ugly days

And time just flew away all in a flash

One blink of an eye and I was deserted

As if I was left behind, far behind

And all others, everyone have gone forward at lightning speed

It not only made me sad and devastated but also happy for all

As atleast they are doing good with their lives

I was left staring at my own reflection on the window glass

Which was dirty, misty and that blurred reflection said it all

Just then a drop of tear fell from my eye

And in the window reflection, I saw it’s course down my cheek to edge of the lip to the chin

And pretended(mostly to myself) that something entered my eye

Due to this windy raining evening

And when I saw if someone caught me shedding that one tear

I saw that no on was there for me or atleast looking at me

All were occupied with their own troubles or the temporary phase of happiness

And then I reached my stop

Gathered my bag, excused myself till the exit

And was down again in the rain and all drenched.