She thought of dying
Bringing an end
To all of it
To all the pain
To all the suffering
To all the curses
To all the yellings
To all the taunts
By ending all of her
She thought
She was hated
And disgraced by all
She thought she
Ain’t worth being alive
Because no one
Likes her
And all of a sudden
At the middle of a dark
Night she left
For the beach
Where she will
Surrender her
Hurt soul and body
And be peaceful
Onwards
And she reached there
And could listen
To the waves
Their shouts
Calling her name
Welcoming her
To the new land
Beneath it
Promising not to
Disappoint her
Just like every other person
And she was convinced
To make the journey
To the new dreamland
Leaving everything behind
And slowly
She entered the water
Wet legs
Cool breeze
Feeling of calmness
Dominating her
She releasing her soul
Thanking God for everything
And forgiving the bad
People have done to her
Serene silence
Water level increasing
Knees drowned
Now the waist
And a force took her back
BACK!
She meant to go front
Wanted the waters to
Take her inside
And tell her stories
And introduce her to
Other beautiful people
In that new dreamland
Who are just like her
But it was not what happened
Someone forced her back
On the sand
And when she saw with anger
And was already cursing
The person
Who dared to stop her
She saw that one face
His beautiful face
Filled with tears
And sweat and panting
And the way he hugged her
Brought senses to her
That indeed she was doing a
Mistake
Rather a blunder
And on that beach
They buried their
both their hurt and pain
And went back home
Happily
The guy was never to blame
She knew deep inside her heart
All the other were
But she also realized
She was punishing the guy
Rather than punishing others
And now others don’t
Matter to her
Only hisย love
Their love
Their life
You have beautifully carved out the story in the poem Darshith. ๐
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Thank you so much Somali ๐ It really means a lot when you appreciate the work here ๐ Thanks for your support ๐
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Oh my god! You really expressed the truth and phases one go through. When there is no hope love is what make u alive. I have been in this phase: too coward to face the reality and what kept me alive was just love. Getting too emotional. Darshith you made me cry. You wrote so well
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Oh boy ! It’s a co-incidence because I became emotional reading one of the posts of Kriti. And I commented something similar to what you have written here. Yes, Love pulls us always from the calamities we try to submit ourselves to. Love is very powerful and in today’s world, very rare. So, if you have Love, cmon, go get it or keep it safe ๐ Thank you for your support always ๐
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So true . Love is beautiful โค๏ธ
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When I read the title, I was expecting a physical suicide but the entire plot twist at the end was marvellous! Their acceptance of her killing of her pain was beautifully thought out! Loved it ๐
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Thank you AdiC for your comment and you are right on target for understanding the poem ๐ The killing of the pain and the desir to lead a better life is everyone’s dream and a perfect suicide ๐ Keep visiting, friend ๐
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Did he turn RIhanna into slut? Did the beat down alter her mental and emotional state to where she will sleep with every guy that turns her on with their siltsimpic mind state and abilities? Will she ever recover? Also every girl I have ever spoken to about the beat down does not blame Chris Brown at all. They actually support him as if he is their pimp.
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Really nice imagination..
In love with this one!! ๐ โค
Keep writing! :))
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Thank you so much Akiraa ๐ Your inspiration is one of the ingredients of good posts ๐
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You’re most welcome!
Glad that I play a little role in your story! :))
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Yes you and all the other beautiful souls here play a role ๐
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:))
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That was. I have no words. None at all. Beautifully written. *elaborate bow* I saved the poem to my PC. Hope you don’t mind that! ๐
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It’s all ok Vanchula :d Thank you so much for your appreciation and saving the poem to your local system ๐ That’s the best gift to anyone ๐
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I thought of re-blogging it, but then decided against that. Re-blogging posts is a different thing, but poetry is much more personal! I wouldn’t like it if someone reblogged my poems. And so, I just saved it. I keep re-reading it, and each time I am awed! :O ๐
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Oh wow ! You don’t like when someone re-blogs your posts? You are the first person to say this ๐ By re-blogging, your post reaches maximum crowd ๐ What matters is you loved it and will re-read it ๐ You are awesome Girl ๐
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No, not posts in general! Just poems. Somehow, poetry is personal to me. They express my deepest thoughts. It would kill me to see one of my poems as a WhatsApp forward message with an array of creepy emojis to follow (like those don’t irk me enough normally!) The. Horror :O And I get the advantages of Re-blogging, just not my poems! ๐
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Oh, not I get it ๐ Yes, WhatsApp forwarded message ๐ some inspirational or love poem ๐ Yes, poems are personal. Anything is personal, if true feelings are attached ๐ Thank you for sharing your thoughts ๐ I will keep in mind, NOT-TO re-blog your poems ๐
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Lol. Thanks for that! ๐
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Anytime ๐ Keep writing, bas ๐
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What an intensely beautiful poem! Wow.
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Thank you, my dear friend ๐
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I’m not a huge fan of poetry, nor can I write it well, but that is beautiful. Speaking the unspoken is sometimes the best form of release.
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Thank you so much Writer Gurl for liking this piece of poetry ๐ Seeing your comment made me happy ๐
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My pleasure :).
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This was very captivating and had me hooked until the end. I didn’t expect any guy in the picture when I read the perfect suicide although I knew she would give up on pain and disappointments for it has to be a perfect suicide that way. For me, the guy part was the twist. I absolutely loved it!! This one was certainly your best I have read.
-Naima
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Thank you Naima for your insights and liking of this post ๐ Yeah, when I started writing, I also didn’t think of any intrusion from any guy but then while writing the flow took to in that direction and I guess it was for the good ๐ Keeping the readers hooked up till the last line is something every writer should work on and I hope I can also produce some more like this ๐ Thanks for your support always ๐
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This was doubtlessly your masterpiece and I also hope to see more of the pieces coming out like these. I absolutely loved it all over again now that I read it again.
-Naima
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Wow ๐ You surely made my day, Naima ๐ Yes, I can try and its so nice of you to share your positive thoughts and make others do wonders ๐
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She did die..
In parts..
The hurting part..
Leaving behind
A cleansed soul
For a new life..
Indeed that’s the perfect suicide!!
It did hit deep.. Wonderful one..
[ My favorite part was, where the guy takes back *after* she lets go of everything… ๐ ]
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Oh you’re someone to look out for ๐ You got the message so easily ๐ You described the perfect suicide indeed. The Gurl forgot her hurt and pain and started a new life after the suicide ๐ Thank you Aadhirai and keep shining ๐
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Maybe it’s because, you have written it so nicely for me to understand.. ๐
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Oh yeah, that can also be true ๐ Thank you for getting inside the skin of the character and then reading the words ๐
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It’s a pleasure to see the rejuvenation.. ๐
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Mine too ๐
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That carried me through to the end. Great imagery.
https://jotraveller.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/access-makes-invisible/
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Thank you so much Joanne ๐ It’s so good to see you around ๐
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Hi Darshith: This an example of complex simplicity….. and is very good. Having worked with many people whose life coping skills were at zero, it does invite numerous readings in order to grasp all the preliminaries leading up to the suicide attempt. It is indeed thought provoking and I would suggest that anybody reading it, who has been touched by a suicide attempt, will take a pause… and just think – not about what this poem means, or what the writer was thinking at the time, or whether it met some predetermined structural parameters…….. but about their personal association with suicide. If a poem can break through an analytical mind and create an emotional reaction, then surely it has achieved its goal.
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Oh got it ๐ I guess that I was able to make the readers connect to their personal experiences of near and dear ones or some from any movies or book and take their mind off from the words of the poem but yet keeping them engaged to read the next line and see what happens next ๐ and I am happy to have achieved this for few ๐ You really got me thinking here with your comment which is a very good thing ๐ Thank you Colin ๐
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That’s good! So many people are taught (or are introduced to) a poetic style, or structure, or other format which pertains to writing well, and all those things are valid however, a good poem is surely one that expresses the writer while connecting with the reader.
If traditional/conventional portraits were the only way to paint, would Picasso have ever painted? Of course not ………. but he did ……… and his person is clearly represented by his style. Whether one likes his pictures or not, one cannot dispute his uniqueness.
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That’s true ๐ Yes, the best thing for the writer is to be expressive via his words and also to be able to connect with his readers and make them feel your words and make their nerves working ๐
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10 points to Mr. B ๐ this was sooo gooddd ๐
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Thank you partner ๐ This is how one wins the House cup and rock ๐
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We rock ๐ ๐
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Oh yes we do ๐ *high-five*
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*high-five*
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Oh god ! I am so in love with this one.. I really really liked the ending part of it. So simply written and yet so promising. Great work, darshith.. ๐ โค
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Good to read your comment ๐ Thank you for your appreciation, Kriti ๐ personally, I loved the mid portion and my sis also ๐ It’s good to know, you liked the ending ๐
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This was soo captivating!! I want to re read it again!!
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Please go ahead ๐ and welcome back ๐
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